XYZ is for Examine Your Zipper

"XYZ, Heidi! XYZ!!!!" The round faced girl pointed and looked at me smugly.  I stared back, in complete and utter confusion. "What on earth was she talking about?" I could feel my face burn into a blush and my mind raced through the ignorance of this situation. I turned around and stared into my locker, my mind still trying to figure out this secret code. How I managed to get from elementary school to middle school without obtaining the translation to this popular teeny bopper lingo, I don't know. It would be like not knowing what "LOL" means in todays vernacular. But alas, I stood there, dumbfounded. Until the voice of an angel whispered discreetly, from the next locker over "Your zipper, Heidi, it means "examine your zipper".

The lightbulb turned on. And my zipper went up. To this day, I periodically check, just to make sure I'm never caught in that awkward situation again.

But it makes me think this morning, about life, and what periodically needs to be examined. Because my husband and I are saving for our first home, finance comes to mind. We were blessed early in our marriage with a small fortune. From various sources for various reasons, we were sitting on a nest of golden eggs. But we didn't own a goose. And after that "honeymoon" year as we call it, my brilliant husband with an honors math major, did a little counting and said to me, "Sweetie, either we need to figure out a better way to handle our money, or we're going to have to open up some credit card accounts. Yes, in just one year we blissfully blew through thousands and thousands of dollars. Our budget sheet was nothing more than a track record of what we'd spent that month. Sometimes that number was astounding. We laugh now as we look back on that record and read things like "Whole Foods, 1,000 dollars, groceries." Or "Target, 3,000 dollars, stuff". Or "March, forgot to budget".

We did not open a credit card, instead, we figured out how to budget, and got pretty darn good at it. We quickly realized that the situation needed some serious examining, or we'd be caught with more than our zipper down, and not in a good way.

And just as I learned my lesson in the 7th grade, to always check your zipper, my husband and I learned to always check our finances, goals, and progress. It was a lesson we'll never forget and one that set us on a path of success for the future.

What are some of your life's XYZ moments, what lessons have you learned by taking the time to look at and examine a situation that needed altering?

-The Domestic Diva

W is for WOOOO HOOOO!

Blogger has corrected whatever little glitch was barring me from returning comments on my posts, so today I will be spending a great deal of time replying to all of the fantastic comments I've received from my readers!

Thank you readers! I'll see you tomorrow with the letter X. Huh. What words start with X? I may also be spending some time with a dictionary looking up some literary inspiration for tomorrow's post!

-DD

V is for very very extra-ordinary

When I was young, I lived to sing. I began voice lessons at age 12 and chased after the dream of stardom into college. I imagined an extraordinary life for myself, filled with standing ovations grand performance gowns and full orchestras, my voice reaching the ears of millions and a name in lights.

But life is filled with ordinary choices that lead us to today. And my choices landed me into a very ordinary life, a far cry from the glamorous song I once imagined I'd sing.

Or did it?

Last night, as I gave a private concert to my four year old son and his one year old cousin while they were taking their before bedtime bath, I found myself gleefully performing to these two bright eyed boys, both of them totally in rapture over the sound of my voice.  Covering their ears as my notes soared into the epic stratosphere of the coloratura, and then jumping up into a standing ovation and calling for "More singing, more singing, again, again!" After every performance I bowed in rapid succession blowing kisses and telling my audience how much I loved them, as they laughed and clapped and blew kisses back to me. No  other audience could have loved me more. Puccini, echoed off the tiled floor, followed by Laurie Berkner's "We are the dinosaurs". (With a slight adaption to include notes Laurie could only dream of singing into my "roar").

As I stood there, singing my heart out, hair frazzled from an evening of cleaning the house in between playing, feeding and entertaining two little boys, my yoga pants splattered with bath water, watching those little hands clapping and calling for more, I realized something incredible, my life is extraordinary. And if all those years of practicing scales and pouring my heart into music was all to lead me to this moment, so that when I sang to my son and my nephew they could truly hear the voice of passion, and artistry, then it was worth it. I lived for the right reason, because it led me here.

There is nothing ordinary about your life if you live it with passion. Whether I am singing for two little boys or a booked opera house, I sing with passion. I think that sometimes we long for the extraordinary because we believe that it will wake us up to the passion and the life we have always dreamed of, it will show the world who we really are! But you are already that person, you have nothing to prove to anyone, but yourself, right now. You are living it already, we simply have our eyes and hearts closed to the extraordinary in this moment.

What is your passion? What turns your life into the extraordinary?

-The Domestic Diva

U is for Uncle

My Uncle Doug is amazing. I can not remember a time he came to visit that he didn't make me feel like he flew across the country just to see me. Uncle Doug is the kind of person who makes me feel like I am the only person in the room, even if there are fifty other people there. And when he is talking to me, everyone else disappears and I feel, that despite any distraction, the only thing he cares about is hearing me. He holds me in his gaze and listens. He asks questions, he smiles,he nods, but most of all, he hears me. Uncle Doug is the definition of a good man, he is understanding and kind. He is a dedicated husband and father. And trusted by those who know and work with him. I adore my Uncle Doug.

When I was young, maybe fifteen or so, my Uncle Doug came to visit our family for the week. I was learning to sing, and he asked me to sing for him. I turned on my practice tape and he sat in a big comfy chair and just listened as I ran through warm ups, scales, and a few songs I was working on. Sometimes, he would close his eyes and just seemed to be floating on my little sea of song. When my mini concert ended, he thanked me for singing to him, and he told me my voice was so beautiful that all I needed to do to win any man's heart, was to look right at him, and sing. He told me that if I did that, that man  could not help but love me forever.

I held on to that, and I never sang to any man, until my wedding day. On that day, from across a room filled with people, I locked eyes with my beloved groom, and sang. I never looked away. Every note was for him, every word an expression of my love, and I knew from the gaze he returned that he would, indeed, love me forever.

Out of all the memories I carry, these two are among the most dear to my heart.

A diva never forgets, when someone really hears her voice.

Uncle Doug, has always heard mine.

-The Domestic Diva

T is for Truth

Looking into my son's eyes for the first time.

I am a woman of conviction. I am a woman of truth. And if there is one truth I have discovered, and strive to live by every day it is that everyone is worthy of love.

I had an experience that taught me this in a way so profound I know it will never leave me, and I know I have changed forever because of it. I was attending Land mark, a wonderful course designed to help people become the best version of themselves. In a particular exercise we were asked to do, we were given the instructions to look into a person's eyes for a certain amount of time. It began from a distance, first we stood in front of the group of 100 people or so, and had to find someone in the audience to lock our gaze with. This seems easy, but trust me, it takes a tremendous amount of faith. We all stand there, wondering, hoping, praying that someone will catch us as we throw our trust out into a sea of strangers. When that gaze is caught, you feel such a tremendous relief. I will never forget the man who "caught" me. He was an Indian man, and he never looked away. His eyes were so golden brown. He had a beautiful soul. When that exercise was over, he came up to me and said "Thank you for your eyes." I will never forget that.

After this exercise we were then lined up, face to face, just inches away from another person, a complete stranger and asked to look into their eyes. It's one thing to do this from 15 feet away, its another to look into a person's eyes for five minutes when they are no more than three inches from your face. It is terrifying. And I'll tell you why, because when we are asked to expose our soul like this, and that is truly what happens, we are scared to death that the person we are looking at will not see something worth looking back at, worth loving.
I was assigned to look into the eyes of an older woman, she was shorter than I am. She had blue grey eyes.

At first your mind races. "Do I have a zit?" 'What does she think of me?" You laugh and giggle a little to cover up the awkwardness. A minute passes which feels like a year. And then another minute. And another. Soon, your mind quiets and you start to look back. You look at the eyes, and stop thinking about yourself and how you are perceived by those other eyes.  Once that gate is down, something magical happens. You forget all the stories you had about how you should look to others, and how they should look to you. You forget about race, age, color, gender, religion, lifestyle, wealth, poverty, education, and all the other little boxes you categorize people into and you see only eyes.

And your own eyes fill with tears, you can not explain. And your heart wakes up, when you didn't even realize it was asleep. You feel compelled to love. It is no longer a choice it is simply the way you live. It is like breathing, you simply love that person because you are alive and they are alive and there is nothing standing before you NOT to love.

We come into this world and the first thing we do is look for eyes. The eyes of a mother. Why? Because when we are seen, we feel loved. Children are not afraid to look into your eyes. They are not afraid to love you and they are not afraid to be loved. They know no other way yet. That is innocence. As we grow up, we are told not to look, we are trained into blindness. The truth of the soul, the truth of seeing, is forgotten.

But it is easy to remember once you look. Really, look. Every person you have ever hated, was once held in the arms of a mother who looked down into their newborn eyes and met them with absolute love and acceptance. I believe this is how God looks upon us, waiting for us to return His gaze. Imagine, looking into the eyes of God. He created your eyes, your eyes are His work, as are the eyes of all the people around you. Look into the eyes of another, and you will start to see God's eyes. And love will no longer be a struggle, it will simply be the way you exist.

That is the truth I strive to live by. The truth I see, is that we are all God's children, and we are all worthy of love.

-The Domestic Diva

Family Photos

Soooo, My mom went to Utah to visit family, and forgot to bring pictures, and can't remember her facebook password, (My mom is never online)  and all of our family is asking to see photos, so I told her I'd post a few on my blog which she can get to easily. So, here are some of our latest and greatest family photos! Hugs to all my Utah Family! I love you!

S is for Serenity

In a world of fast food, instant messaging, credit cards, online networking, and phones that travel everywhere with us, I am a huge advocate of serenity. 

Serenity to me, is getting in touch with what is real. Not a picture, not a face on the computer screen. As much as I love social networking online, I take it with a grain of salt. It isn't completely real. You never see, or feel the whole picture. This blog is created of highlights of my very best, even when I write up my little reality checks, or personal experiences that may move you, it's still only the side of me I'm willing and able to share with a person I am not actually seeing face to face. And so, the impression of me you get online, is jaded, not by intent, but by the nature of the medium. There are some experiences that can not be simulated, company and conversation is one of them.  Serenity is standing in the presence of another and feeling their spirit interact with yours. Serenity is personal.

Serenity is the deepness and richness of experience, the taste of real food in your mouth which can be imitated by nothing. No grape flavoring will ever come close to the magnificent burst of flavor a little muscat grape holds within it's beautiful sheer orb of perfection. 

Serenity is that feeling of accomplishment you achieve when you've saved your money to buy something you have wanted for months and months, and you can hand over hard earned cash in place of instant gratification and that gut wrenching prod that urges you to be stronger than your momentary desires.

Serenity is stillness, it is turning off the phone long enough to hear silence. And in the silence, other voices can finally be heard, the song of a bird, the whisper of a new bud growing for you to admire, your heartbeat, your thoughts, your truest appetites and needs emerge when you are still enough to ask your body what it needs from you. 

Serenity opens your heart and allows you to feel the beauty of the world around you, because you are no longer distracted from it. We are all connected, always, we do not need the internet to imitate that for us. I, like you, appreciate it as the tool that it is, but never let it distract us from our serenity.

-DD