By Heidi Nickerson
August 14,
2012
For another lost
little one.
So soft and white
Lined with satin bows
A little hood with bear ears
Hanging sweetly in the boutique.
I touch the velvety fluff
Pull it off the shelf,
And into my eager arms.
As I clutch it to my chest
The world around me fades,
I no longer stand in the little shop,
I am outside.
And I can see her
A perfect little girl
Sunlight dancing off her golden curls
Toddling toward me in fall leaves
Now she’s
Tripping over her first snow
The wind kissing her cheeks,
Turning them bright pink.
And oh!
The giggles!
As she
Splashes
Through showers of spring
Tears.
Tears?
A downpour of tears!
I can’t see her anymore!
I can only clutch this coat
And wish…
Wish with all my heart
That this is just a nightmare.
I’m still pregnant
I’m still dreaming
Smiling
Counting the days
The weeks
The months.
Two more days till I can hear the heartbeat.
Three more weeks and I’ll feel the baby kick.
Seven more months and she’ll be here!
I'm busy filling my nest
With baby things
Like this beautiful coat!
A coat she’ll never wear.
She has no need for coats in heaven.
But here on earth, we need coats.
Coats to keep us warm
When our hearts are bitten with cold.
Coats to keep us dry
When we are drowning in a fallen ocean of
tears.
Coats to hang in the closet for another season
With pockets to hide a hope in
That we reach into later,
And find a long forgotten smile there.
So soft and white
Her angel wings must be…
So soft and white,
Like this little coat.
