Friday, December 24, 2010

Open your eyes....

In C.S. Lewis's book"The Last Battle" his final story, or perhaps, the true beginning of the story, we are taken once again to the great land of  Narnia. After the last battle has been fought, and the last King of Narnia proves his allegiance to Aslan the land begins to change. A doorway is opened and Narnia is given a rebirth. Our beloved characters from past stories are gathered and beneath the clear Narnian sky Aslan presents himself in all his power and glory to his people. Yet not far off there sits a circle of Dwarfs, blind to the world around them. They wallow about in what they perceive to be a pitch black stable and have nothing to comfort them, except their pride in not being deceived.

In a desperate effort to help the Dwarfs Lucy appeals to Aslan, asking him to use his power and open their eyes to the beauty around them.

"Dearest," Aslan says to Lucy, "I will show you both what I can, and what I cannot, do." He came close to the Dwarfs and gave a long growl: low, but it set all the air shaking. But the Dwarfs said to one another, "Hear that? That's the gang at the other end of the stable. Trying to frighten us. They do it with a machine of some kind. Don't take any notice. They won't take us again!"

A second time, Aslan tries to reveal the truth of the Dwarfs surroundings. With a gentle shake of his mane a great feast of the finest food appears in the laps of the Dwarfs. But while they hold goblets of fine wine, and exquisite pies in their hands all they can taste is dirty water and hay.

"Well, at any rate there's no Humbug here. We haven't let anyone take us in. The Dwarfs are for the Dwarfs."

"You see," said Aslan. "They will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they can not be taken out."

I remember reading this for the first time and thinking to myself "I would never be the Dwarf, I would be Lucy. I would see what was real, I wouldn't be trapped in my own mind like that."

But if I take a step back, and have the courage to be honest I must admit that I have been in the dark stables of life before. I have been consumed by all the things I am not happy with, I have cried the tears of a wife with a husband out to sea. I have screamed my frustrations at a busy toddler. I have lamented over pimples, stretch marks,  and crooked teeth. I have held goblets of the finest, sweetest wine in my hand and tasted only dirty water. And I have beat my fist against the air and screamed at the top of my lungs that it was all real, and I hated it.

Not even Aslan himself could have opened my eyes when I was in this dark place. It was not until I allowed a thought to shift, did my eyes begin to open.

 I saw that the tears I cried for missing my husband are a beautiful thing. For only a woman so well loved would grieve as I do when apart from her husband. Each tear is a reminder, that I love a man so kind, so good, and so wonderful that I can hardly stand his absence. What a blessing! I am the luckiest woman in the world to have a husband I love so deeply. I am the most blessed woman to ever live, because at the end of the day when the tears have dried up, I am at peace-for I know he is coming home to me again.

I saw this little boy who loves to explore the effects of gravity with his cereal bowl, express the crescendo of his voice with each scream, and engage me in play with feet flying, fists punching and smile catching, is the greatest gift God ever placed in my arms. To come to me with such ease and at such a perfect time in my marriage is more than I could ever ask for. This little boy, who runs a mile a minute but slows down just long enough to throw me a kiss or jump into my arms is the greatest joy I have ever known.

I saw that with every ridiculous criticism I told my reflection, I was ignoring and being ungrateful for the miracle of my life. My health, my vitality, and my beauty.

What difference does it make what is real or what's not, when all that truly exists is our perception of it?

Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? What do you declare real in your life? Is it more important that you are happy, or that you are right? Is there more you want in life than your past? Is there more to you than your suffering? Maybe it's time we start asking these questions and step out of the stables. No one else can open our eyes for us. No one else can think our thought, or build the world we choose to live in. This life is only as hard and terrible as we perceive it to be. Even God can not force us to look upon him. He can not choose our thoughts, he can not steer our gaze. We cast our eyes where we choose, and what we see becomes real to us.

If I can see it
I can be it

If I perceive it
I'll achieve it

With each thought,
I create.
And so the world
Is what I make.

May you step out of the dark stables of your fears,  your sadness, your loneliness, your despair, your past or whatever burdens are blinding you.

May you scoop up the dew kissed flowers of the field, breathe them in, and smell their perfume. May you hold the sweet goblet of wine in your hand and drink deeply. May you run free through the green grass under the endless sky of Narnia. May the world you create for yourself, and your family be all that you dream, and more. Open your eyes my divas, open your eyes.

The Domestic Diva


  1. heidi, you are amazing....i really needed this one today, thank you so much : )

  2. I am writing for you-all of you! As long as you need my words I will share them.


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