Monday, December 20, 2010

Singing the greatest duet...

Josh and I are polar opposites when it comes to the gender spectrum. I am a Disney princess trapped in the real world and he is a Herculoid marching about as a submarine officer and I wouldn't have it any other way. We balance each other perfectly. We are a constant fascination and entertainment to each other. While I'm chatting with the ladies indoors in front of the fire about babies, housekeeping and tasty green drinks my husband is outside with the guys seeing who can stand the cold the longest.

One day we were driving in the car and happened to pass by a brilliantly colored field of crocus  "Oh, what a beautiful deep aubergine" I gushed.

"What the heck is 'aubergine' "he laughed?

"It's actually French for eggplant, it's how artists describe deep purple" I explained.

"Huh" Josh mused. "Aubergine..." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"What?" I pressed.

"Well, I just don't see why you can't call it purple."

"Purple could mean a lot of different things, if it's muted it's aubergine, if it's a tone I'd call it lavender, and there's a bunch of other hues in there I could probably find various names for."

"It just seems really confusing when you could just call it purple, and why does it all have to sound so girly, aubergine, lavender, chartreuse, periwinkle, who comes up with these names?!"

"Good point!" I laugh "What name would you give a color?"

Josh didn't skip a beat, it was as if he'd thought of this before...

"Herculean bloodsmoke" he said emphatically "The smoky color that drifts up from a boiling cauldron filled with the blood of a great beast slain by the hand of Hercules himself."

"And what color is that exactly?" I giggled

"Black. Gray. Red. In some cases blue. The only colors that really matter."

From that day on, whenever a situation calls for the description of color, Herculean Bloodsmoke is the first adjective Josh reaches for, and it always makes me smile.

There is such beauty in differences. There is intrigue and mystery. There is always something to figure out, or be puzzled by. I love the primal variance between men and women. It creates such blissful balance. Like harmony and melody, it offers a depth and passion all its own simply by being a contrast. But more than that, I feel if offers a wisdom profound and enlightening if you take the time to learn from it. It's impossible to understand just about anything until you have experienced a contrast with it.

If all you've ever seen is light, how could you understand the word dark?
If all you ever felt was warm, how could you understand the experience of being cold?
If you've never been hungry how do you know what it is to be full?
If you've never been anxious or stressed, you wouldn't even realize you are at peace.
If you've never known a tear how could you ever know you are happy?

Contrast is the greatest teacher there is, and the greatest lesson we can learn is how to live with our opposite. We all have a perfect contrast, and we will all find that. For me, a Disney Princess, I had to have a Herculean math major with a passion for doing flips off of walls. I needed the experience of being married to such a  man. I needed to learn to love something I didn't understand-and so did he. I never expect us to look at things exactly the same way or have the same feelings about an experience because we look and feel the world around us so uniquely. It amazes me that when I look into the eyes of this man so different from myself I am filled with such love and devotion. I can feel his love being returned to me, in his own way, his own perfect way. A way I will never understand but forever be grateful for.  He has caught me in a gaze from which I would never look away.

I love him for the way he sees the world,
I love him for the way he sees me.

I am learning everyday from our differences and becoming a greater woman because of those contrasts. Let us embrace our husbands as they are, you chose your perfect match, and he chose his. You compliment each other, how boring life would be if we were all singing the melody line. So embrace the harmony in your marriage, harmony in the disagreements, harmony in the passion, harmony in the parenting, harmony in the budgeting-you won't be singing the same line but you'll find a way to keep things in tune. May you always be in wonder at your differences, may you keep creating music even when it's a rocky sight singing job, may you revel in the joy of grand compositions and sold out concerts. You may be the diva, but your husband has a voice too. Open your heart and listen to his voice, and let yourself be moved by what you hear in all its difference, all it's might and all its power.

The Domestic Diva


  1. well said. I really enjoyed that...Scott and I also have some interesting differences that keep life an adventure. Thanks for sharing your love!

  2. I'm in awe. Your words couldn't be more inspiring to me.

  3. Heidi,
    You have such a way with words. :) This and many other entries have sprung tears into my eyes; of Hope, joy, sadness and understanding. As strange as your "should" and "could" philosophy sounded at first, I gave it a shot. I now find myself saying "oh, I could get these things accomlished today..", "I have a few spare minutes I could find one thing to do today to show Jake how much he means to this family, what shall it be today?" You have helped bring forth more inspriation in my routines, a more profound need to to show my husband the support and love I have for him each and every day and a new way to view my world as a navy wife and mother. So thank you and thank you again. I knew you were special the first time we met, just how special you would become... that I had no idea of.

  4. Oh Sheralynne, thank you so so so much, your comment brought a tear to my eye! To be a support to others through my thoughts has been as much a blessing to myself as it seems to be for others. Thank you for sharing this with me-and thank you for your friendship-

  5. Herculean blood-smoke. That is gold.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...